It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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