Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
