no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
