all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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