how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
