I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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