Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
