I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
