You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize