NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
