High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
