Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
