i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
