party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
