i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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