Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
