i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
