Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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