he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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