It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
