if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
