let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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