What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
