I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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