After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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