with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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