I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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