i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize