after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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