She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
