i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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