my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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