then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
