Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
this is an emotional support booty call
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
