we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
