found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
