she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
