in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
