help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
sex in a hospital.. check
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize