How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
