So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
