didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize