we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
