Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
