i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
