you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
