There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
