you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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