I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
