i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
