I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
