I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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