is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
