i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
