Will you blow on my dice?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
