I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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