he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
