last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
